Mohd Shafiq bin Kamarudin

4 sure, that's my name. Ank kpd mak & ayh aku (of course). Born on September 5, 1992. Today's entry is about myself. Ntah knape tiba2 rsa nk tulis pasal diri sendri. Ermm, mcm mne nk mula ye... *_*

Ok. Mak citer, aku stop minum susu pling awl compare dgn abg2 aku. Klu letak susu kat mulut pun aku luah balik (Mayb punce aku kurus skrg kot...). Msuk tadika pda thun 1998 (6 years old). Ape yg aku egt? Mak aku ckp, die ade keraguan utk benarkn aku msuk tadika time tu sebab aku juz bley ckp "atu, uue" instead of "satu, dua". haha. Nasib baik la Cikgu Ja (cikgu tadika tu) convince mak yg aku akn bley ckp mcm budak lain once aku bergaul dgn diorg. =)

Sekolah rendah dkt SK Titi Gantong dri darjah 1 smpai la 6. Rutin masa darjah 1-2, mak akn hantar aku yg sesi petang & amek abg aku yg sesi pagi. Beza kiteorg adk beradik 4 taun. Means secara matematiknya, bila aku 8 tahun, abg aku yg kedua 12 tahun while abg aku yg 1st 16 tahun. Disebabkn abg aku yg 1st dkat asrama, so tggal la kteorg dua beradik kat umah. Dulu family aku b'niaga kedai runcit. Jd selalunya klu tak de buat ape, kiteorg kat kedai la. Abg aku kna tolong jga kedai dgn mak, while aku yg msih kecil masa tu tolong mkn ice-cream & keropok2 kat kedai tu. Hehe. Rasa seronok pulak bila egt balik time kiteorg hbeskn msa mlm sama-sama kat kedai. Klu kiteorg kuar jln2 & ttup kedai, bila balik umah waktu mlm, kena bukak lampu kedai. So, abg aku akn mulakn lakonan 'tidur' die dlm keta sbb mlas nk turun gi bukak lampu. Smua tu berakhir bila mak ayh aku decide nk jual je kedai tu kat org lain. Klu tak silap, tahun 2002 kot.. Da x dpt mkn ice-cream percuma =(
 
Mayb ade yg tnya knapa aku jarang tulis pasal ayh aku. Sebenarnya, compare mak & ayh, aku lebih kepada mak. Bukan sebab ape, masa kecik-kecik dulu, ayh aku terpaksa kerja luar. Kadang-kadang tak balik. So, most of the time masa kecik aku spend dgn mak n abg aku. Tapi, aku tetap sayang & bersyukur sebab ade seorg ayh yg amek berat walaupun bukan dgn cara menunjukkan nya. I think, most of the father in the world do the same thing. =)

Sekolah menengah plak kat SMKDARY sbb tu sekolah yg pling dekat dgn rumah aku. Pegi balik naik bus. Paling malas bile kna bangun awl2 & pegi tunggu bus smpai. Antara yg aku egt, time nk amek result PMR. Beberapa hari sebelumnya sgt tenang & confident & relax je. Family takut2 kn dgn result pun aku buat bodo je, smpai la mlm sebelum result kuar. Time tu baru nk cuak. Effect, tak boley nk tido terus. Risau punya pasal. Time breakfast pun tak lalu nk mkn da. Ayah pulak tunggu kat luar dewan, menambahkn kegerunan. Haha. Menjadi ketua kelas SC1 msa form 4 letak aku ke tahap yg berbeza dlm pemikiran aku. Perlu ambik responsibility atas ape-ape yg jadi dgn kelas tu, bantu aku jadi lebih matang dari segi mental. Kemungkinan untuk jadi org pertama yg dipersalahkn jugak buat aku jadi lebih bersedia dgn ape jugak kebarangkalian. Its not juz to greet teachers in the class or taking the attendance, its about responsibility. Form 5 da start bawak moto gi sekolah. So, tak de la kena bangun awl sgt. But there's few moments that makes it the year that i want to forget. So much things that happen was beyond my control.

Hari ini, 19 tahun 68 hari, banyak yg da aku lalui. Selama ni jugak byk yg baik & buruk yg dah aku hadapi.

Now, we go deep into the personal things...

People say i'm quiet, polite, nerd, alone, emotional... But, wut can i say is, not everyone really knows me. My mum, is the closest person to noe me better. She raise me till now, she's my mother, that's makes she a better understanding person to me. If u really noe me, i dun really a quiet person. It's juz, i rarely speak to stranger or someone dat i dun really noe. Its better to keep quiet rather than talking to person dat u uncomfortable wit. I like to make my own move without being ordered by someone to do so. If i were at home, i rather spend the time wit my family than having outside activities. I feel comfortable wit it. So dun be disheartened when i refuse to contact anyone while i'm at home.

Am i a good boy? To b honest, i'm not. I speak nicely to anyone to shows my respect to each & everyone of them. So its better not to push my limit. I'm capable of to ruin ur days wit my words, my action, my body language.. When i lost my respect, u will noe who u deal wit. I can a good person, but i can turned to bad one when u feel i dont. Aku tak kacau kau, kau tak payah nk kacau aku, ok? Kau tak de masalah dgn aku, aku tak de masalah dgn kau..

So basically, alone right now which i think sesuai dgn perangai aku, sikap aku, actions aku. Aku tak nak sakitkn hati org bila aku decide utk bersama. She's dont deserve to hear my harsh words. Its better to be alone rather than hurting someone i love/like. My advice; Don't play wit my heart, if u too scare to get hurt.

Peace <Leo> ~