This is it...

I noe it.. From ur face, i can see it clearly.. The secret, has juz been reveal..

Huhh..

I dun noe how to tell it to u... But i hav to..

U hav to noe everything.. This is da time..

Please take it to ur heart...

All of this started few years ago..

The time when all started happily..

Full of joy.. Face the tough time..

Nothing can stop from achieve what da most greatest things in the life..

But.. Suddenly,, 

I'm juz realize it.. It should be end, cz it is da time to end it..

All of the joy, nice moment, laught.. All of dat's need to end..

It's comes to next step of my life, 

Which i dun hav any idea how it will be..

My life juz well on track.. I'm brimming of confident, courage, and spirit. Oh, i juz say through my heart dat i juz get what i want. How happy am i.. Being in college, hav good friends, and of course, well-supported family.. But u never noe when the rain would come, and how its' looked like.. When i juz get my strength, i noe dat one day, i will lose, and sink down.. U never be at the top forever.. When the time comes, i noe i hav to face it with every single piece of my heart.. U noe, when it's too long being involve on dat particular things, u can safely expect whether it will comeback or not, and if does comeback, it will haunt u.. An eagle, never leave his prey or target to get away.. It will continue to haunt it.. The problem is, its' comeback when i hav u by my side..

U noe,
After years of being together with someone, and u ended it with ur own reasons, u hav to take ur responsibility for ur action.. This is juz wut i am doing now.. This is my answer for everything... U keep asking me, "What is the reason of ur silence? What is ur problems? please tell me.." I am sorry. I am sorry cz i can't tell u why.. This is between my past and me.. I hav to face the probs, by my own.. U need to stay away from this situation. I won't bring u inside it. Let's started it by simply it to one word; family. A relationship, when it comes to family involvement, never ever going to be easy way.. I've been stuck between expectation and hopes.. I've been couple or have a relationship with a girl. Everything seems great; before her family involvement. U noe, I've been taught by my mum since i was a kid, never being rude to an older people. I am sure, every parents taught it to their children.. This is exactly wut i'm doing now. My past should go far away, as far as it could, but its' juz keep coming close.. I dun hav a strong heart to pull away the expectation. An expectation giving by her parent, to take care of their daughter, juz as usual. Ouh, my mouth juz can't kick-out the words of "cannot".. I dun hav heart to disappointed them.. I juz can't do so.. They want to see their daughter to enter the 'happy' world.. Yeah, this is what i called; responsibility. That is why I dun like when u tell all of our 'things' to ur family. I noe, it cost us in the near future... Although i dun noe how to do it, but i hav to. We been friend. But sorry, its' not a normal friend. Although it seems weird, but that is the reality. "I love u", "I miss u", "I can't live without u", "honey/darling/baby/syg", all of that terms being used juz like nothing. Its' like a normal things between us. We keep telling each other "love u", juz like the common words using by lover. All dats' juz to make her happy. Maybe I am fool, cz i juz hurt u by doing it. Maybe I am a puppet, being used to make other people happy. But I'm willing to do so, rather than disappointed people who put so much hope on me. I'm willing to be hated so damn much by u.

This is my answer of my action. For the past few weeks, I'm trying to keep my words away. Nobody ever noe piece of my problems. Its' juz me who handle it. I dun want to tell anybody, including u and also my family. None of them noe about it. Dats' why i am trying to create a distance between us. U dun hav to noe anything bout me, cz when u do so, u WILL get hurt.. This kind of situation dun see how it will end, but it will continue.. Until the time dat even I, can't decide it.. I hav something dat called as soul, something dat i dun owned it.. Now, u juz enter my room, which i dun hav any key to get out from it.. U can see the situation, but can't solve it. I am sorry cz not telling it before. I dun noe how to tell u.. So, this is it. Now u noe the truth behind all of this drama.. I juz completed my task, to tell u the truth. Now, its' all up to u. U can choose to believe it, and of course, u hav all right to say no. U dun force me, and I am never force u to love me.. I noe, its' hard to understand it. But that is the reality. U can hate me as much as u want. I accept it. That is part of the risk for my action. Now I'm juz going to seat here, and wait for ur answer.........
Thank u for everything......~